Rants, Rules & Recipes

An Effort to End Nutritional Ignorance

RANT: Food Is EVERYWHERE

Food is good. And it is everywhere. And Its ALWAYS someone’s birthday at work.

I habitually walk by the ‘break room’ and cast a reflexive glance as I pass, to see what offering there in lies. And most days of the week, there are homemade cookies, synthetic neon-iced cakes, chips, cheese dips, donuts by the dozen–often brought in by the cheerful 94 pound co-worker, who “just can’t seem to gain weight” because “it just falls off” and these treats “will just go bad” at her house — stick with me, sister, and we could get you up to a size 14 in a flash!)

While I enjoy 2-6 desserts a day, most of these crusty break room ‘treats’ I would NEVER even consider—like last week’s cold dried up pizza.

But there is something about that chance discovery, like a baby who finds a deliciously shiny penny, that makes these less-than-delicious items find a way down my throat.

Every Monday I vow to start anew. After a ravenous wedding weekend, or a raucous bachelorette party (“Can you believe we ate that entire meat lovers pizza ‘late night’ that we found in that alley?”)  or a vacation with family and our banquet-sized breakfasts, “this Monday, I’ll get back in my routine and eat only plant products, or cut out chocolate, or all desserts; I’ll eliminate fried foods or  snacks, or I’ll drink 2 glasses of water before I eat anything, or I’ll write down everything I eat to keep track or I’ll try those diet pills Sarah mentioned worked for her, or I’ll drink Green tea, or I’ll ….”

Then damn it! if Monday isn’t the surprise office party for Jeff …”Congratulations on your Gastric By-pass!” Let’s all celebrate with chocolate cupcakes topped with gummy worms signifying Jeff’s resected bowels and cookies as big as a human face. (Thank you, Panera Bread, for making delicious cookies the size of steering-wheels!)

Then come home to find it’s the Monday night Block Party Barbeque and Rachel’s making her famous bacon, sour cream, mayonnaise, cheese and adipose dip.

Seriously?! It’s like I can’t escape. Bad-for-me-food is everywhere.  And it’s hard to be good.

4 comments on “RANT: Food Is EVERYWHERE

  1. Pingback: RANT: Food Is EVERYWHERE | Jim's Box

  2. Megan Yowell
    August 29, 2012

    Agreed! I always pop in a fresh piece of minty gum before I go into “the danger zones” which helps me from plowing my way through the cheese dips and chocolate chip cookies. Everything tastes bad right after a piece of gum or brushing your teeth. I also do the same when I am baking or making Tiger Butter to prevent myself from eating half of my creations along the way. Love, love, love the blog! Keep it coming Mad xoxo

  3. Trish Vanstory
    August 29, 2012

    Couldn’t agree with you more — it’s everywhere!! And I actually laughed out loud when you said you’d have your friend up to a size 14 in a flash — I cannot help thinking the same thing when I hear about people who cannot keep weight on — boy, could I teach them a thing or two!

    Do you find that your ability to hold off is cyclical? Do you find that you’re affected one way or the other by exercise? What about types of exercise?

    For example, for me, taking a long walk will actually make me less hungry the next time I sit to eat. But if I do a Body Pump class or any kind of weights, I’m STARVING and it really doesn’t matter what I put in my mouth, as long as there’s A LOT of it.

    Am I alone in this? Just wondering …

    • rantsrulesandrecipes
      August 30, 2012

      Definitely worse when I’m stressed! And yes, weight training often makes me ravenous, although sometimes I think it’s just thirst!

      Sent from my iPhone

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